Heat up the bedroom. Feel like a goddess.

It doesn’t take more sex to feel sexier and to enjoy intimacy more.

What it does take is regularly feeding your erotic imagination; prioritising your passions and creativity AND grabbing every opportunity to show care to your beloved.


Here’s 5 ways to infuse more of your creativity and aliveness into the bedroom:


1. Our erotic imagination thrives on novelty

Making some very personal stuff to set the scene for sex can be special and exciting. E.g., A playlist of songs that remind you of your partner, fresh flowers in the bedroom or your own blend of oils in an infuser.

2. Creative Expression

Have you ever written a short fantasy or erotic story for your partner? It’s likely to make them feel very special and it can be fun to tailor it to appeal to your partner’s particular tastes. Don’t be overwhelmed by the act of writing – it need only be a short and sweet few paragraphs

3. Retail Therapy

You might like to try going shopping together explicitly for erotic material like literature, clothes or massage oils. It can be a fun, novel activity and it’s a conscious reminder of the centrality of your sexual relationship.

4. Get Nude Together

Do you like to sleep naked? If so, it might be something you could do more often. Sleeping naked together has been correlated with more satisfying couple relationships. You can further enhance the experience of going to bed skin on skin with a body moisturising routine. It can be a couple of minutes well spent for your skin and your intimacy level.

5. Prioritise Your Time Together

Get to bed earlier together OR set the alarm a little earlier and use that time for touching with no expectation of full sex. A few dedicated minutes of intimate touching a day can be enough to keep desire bubbling in you. Touching often can also help you feel generally sexier and more passionate about life and each other.

Small conscious efforts will add up to helping you feel more alive and desirable in your everyday moments.

Want more relationship wisdom direct from a psychologist? Check out my book Lovelands.

Just BE the love that you ARE.

Deb x