How death helped make life simple

When my previous partner died about 5 years ago it catapulted me forward in every way imaginable. You don’t need that kind of agony to propel yourself forward – but when bad things happen, you don’t want to waste the insights. Death shines the harsh light of ultimate reality on those left behind, so for a while you can see right through their skin; you see what they’re made of, how they behave when they’re terrified, sad and alone. I saw through many people as they disappeared. I lost almost everything.

And then I triumphed.


Not over people: those who loved, loved; those who hated, continued to hate.
Nor did I  triumph over death – we’ll all die one day.

I triumphed when I was catapulted into the body and soul realisation that our physical time is utterly limited and when it finishes

you won’t be ready unless you live how you want to be remembered.


Death taught me that every moment is rich with possibility – there is NO time to waste being anything but an embodiment of your values, immersed in that which lights you up. It taught me that if you’re not in pain – you’re lucky, and if you are in pain –

the time for dealing with it is NOW.


Death taught me life is simple at the core:


There’s no time for resentment-building in relationships, no time for soul-sucking work if you are fortunate enough to be able to access something more. Death taught me that people being cruel, small-minded, greedy and hateful is nothing short of delusional and it will come home to roost in the way they are remembered, the seeds they sow, the energy of their souls. There’s no time to be a bastard or a bitch – there’s not even any point. That kind of victory is a death and there’s no time for death in life.

Live how you want to be remembered – by your family, by your partner, by YOU.


Live passionately, live kindly, everything else is a waste of your precious time.

Just BE the love that you ARE,

Dr Deb x