Author, Psychologist
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It’s a cringe-worthy but still common Hollywood movie formula: Girl meets boy, they clash at first sight but have to work together (arguing all the way). When they disagree they slap each other’s faces or trade smart-arse one liners before jumping into the sack for some sexy time, APPARENTLY turned on after that little spot of violence. Why do we even put up with …
Feeling you can reach your partner sexually, connect physically and be cared for and welcomed by your partner on an erotic level is important to individual wellbeing and to the health of a marriage. Unfortunately when resentments or distance build up in a partnership the sense of welcoming, physical openness and acceptance between partners can become damaged …
There’s a great deal of research suggesting that having sex everyday (or almost!) with your partner is great for body and mind. The widely reported benefits of daily sex in a good relationship include: Lower levels of stress, better sleep, greater relationship happiness, healthier pelvic floor muscles and regulation of periods for women, and an association with lower levels of prostate cancer …
When you become a parent, especially for the first time, it can take a lot more strategic planning to make space for your couple relationship than it used to, but do it. Good sex is a key component in nurturing a passionate, connected couple relationship and although it may take some energy to make it …
Jealousy pangs occur for almost every couple at some time. However, if jealousy becomes part of an ongoing cycle of anger, suspicion, distress and insecurity in a couple, it needs dealing with on a deeper level before it erodes core trust in each other and dampens closeness and desire in the relationship. It’s important to …
Eroticism is like a place you go to, immerse yourself in, that exists first in your imagination. The greatest thing about imagination is it has no limits and your erotic places can be anywhere in time and space, infinite and inexhaustible. Different scenarios and locations can be inspiring but when you’re wanting to fire up …
Keeping sex creative makes sense because eroticism thrives on novelty, many varied and new experiences. By creative – I don’t necessarily mean acrobatics in the bedroom – simply variations on sex aside from intercourse. Sex is creative – even when it’s not about creating new people – it’s almost a place we go to that exists as much inside our imagination as in …
Surviving infidelity is a heartbreaking, brain-searing, crazy-making time for couples to navigate. I often meet couples for the first time in their scorched earth, post-affair period because they need my help as a therapist then like never before. Recovering from any betrayal of trust is slow and painstaking and the more intimate the betrayal, the more raw the pain, shame, rage …
I’m writing this with trepidation, because the mere mention of porn can provoke conservatives, big business, the moral police and all sorts. So to be clear, there’s no moral debate here. I’m writing about porn because it’s become an issue in my field – relationship therapy. Essentially the most common problem is when one partner …
It doesn’t take more sex to feel sexier and to enjoy intimacy more. What it does take is regularly feeding your erotic imagination; prioritising your passions and creativity AND grabbing every opportunity to show care to your beloved. Here’s 5 ways to infuse more of your creativity and aliveness into the bedroom: 1. Our erotic imagination thrives …