Author, Psychologist
Browsing Tag
John Donne’s ‘A Valediction: forbidding mourning’ concerns a sea voyage and uses the image of a circle as an antidote to the abyss of loss and separation. He pictures the invisible but precious bonds which link carer and cared-for, lover and beloved in an attachment relationship as slender threads of gold. Jeremy Holmes Long before …
Straight up? It’s a yes and a no. Yes – your relationship can survive, for better or for worse. In some cases, there’s eventually a positive that emerges long-term after infidelity – that an affair was one of the few things dramatic and life-changing enough to bring the couple back to a strong erotic connection. It’s …
It’s one of the most dreaded destinations on the map but a lot of us end up there. Some marriages just aren’t meant to be but others careen out of control down the road to Divorce Land due to lack of awareness, poor relationship skills and fear of admitting there’s a problem until it’s too …
When couples look for marriage help they’ve often been going around in circles of frustration and resentment for so long that part of my job is to remind them how to speak nicely to one another. It’s odd really because the same people can usually communicate perfectly nicely with all the other people in the life. …
Long distance relationships are tricky beasts. A little time apart can enhance passion when you get back together because you’re so excited to see each other. You miss each other and have likely fantasised about the reunion. However, many couples find that the thrill of missing each other soon wears off. Most of us who endure regular periods of separation for work or …
We are designed to take care of one another. Simon Sinek I’m often asked what is my best relationship advice for any couple? When I started dating my husband, one of the things he asked me on a long beach walk was what I wanted most in life. It was that early stage of getting to know …
When you’re in the wrong relationship it usually doesn’t take long to begin to suspect the awful truth but it can be difficult to admit to it and find the strength to make tough decisions. There’s always that little voice of hope whispering that maybe you could make it OK, not great but OK, if you changed something like…moved to Mars, …
There’s nothing more desirable, universally attractive and yearned for than to love and be loved. Love is the fundamental core of our needs and desires, after all other dreams are quenched or drop away. Love is a very particular gift of heart-presence and focus – it’s not a thing but an action of body, mind and …
Therapist Aaron Beck was the grandfather of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – a system of therapy which in a nutshell, teaches people to recognise the patterns of thinking that aren’t serving them well and to question unhelpful thoughts and feelings rather than just going with them willy-nilly and spiralling into down moods. Many therapists, like myself, combine ideas …
When you become a parent, especially for the first time, it can take a lot more strategic planning to make space for your couple relationship than it used to, but do it. Good sex is a key component in nurturing a passionate, connected couple relationship and although it may take some energy to make it …