Author, Psychologist
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Jealousy pangs occur for almost every couple at some time. However, if jealousy becomes part of an ongoing cycle of anger, suspicion, distress and insecurity in a couple, it needs dealing with on a deeper level before it erodes core trust in each other and dampens closeness and desire in the relationship. It’s important to …
Eroticism is like a place you go to, immerse yourself in, that exists first in your imagination. The greatest thing about imagination is it has no limits and your erotic places can be anywhere in time and space, infinite and inexhaustible. Different scenarios and locations can be inspiring but when you’re wanting to fire up …
Keeping sex creative makes sense because eroticism thrives on novelty, many varied and new experiences. By creative – I don’t necessarily mean acrobatics in the bedroom – simply variations on sex aside from intercourse. Sex is creative – even when it’s not about creating new people – it’s almost a place we go to that exists as much inside our imagination as in …
Surviving infidelity is a heartbreaking, brain-searing, crazy-making time for couples to navigate. I often meet couples for the first time in their scorched earth, post-affair period because they need my help as a therapist then like never before. Recovering from any betrayal of trust is slow and painstaking and the more intimate the betrayal, the more raw the pain, shame, rage …
Marriage Therapy research has found that pulling away or treating each other harshly when you’re under pressure are the greatest predictors of divorce. Here’s a peek at what I call the S.O.U.L strategy for handling challenges and disagreements with soul-to-soul respect and closeness, rather than reactivity. Years as a couple therapist has confirmed for me …
I’m writing this with trepidation, because the mere mention of porn can provoke conservatives, big business, the moral police and all sorts. So to be clear, there’s no moral debate here. I’m writing about porn because it’s become an issue in my field – relationship therapy. Essentially the most common problem is when one partner …
Learning to manage differences in opinion compassionately and effectively in your relationship is an essential life skill and it isn’t really that difficult to learn. Ample research shows that how couples behave under pressure is more important in predicting happiness than how they are together in good times – after all, being happy when things are going smoothly …
From my years as a couple therapist, here’s a few tips for rediscovering great sex in long term relationships. In each of us is our secret erotic world unseen by anyone except a lover (and even they rarely know the half of it). The happiest long term couples tend to have created a shared, overlapping erotic existence as …
Sex therapy is often an important adjunct to couple therapy and there’s a popular misconception that longer relationships equate with boring sex. However, research evidence actually suggests that long-term couples generally report enjoying more satisfying sex than newer couples. This is probably because confidence and ease grows over time together. It is true however, that for many couples, …
For much of my life I had the classic pleasing disease. Pleasers want everything to be beautiful and harmonious and we’re willing to do what it takes. Pleasers often come across easy-going, generous, agreeable and flexible, because we want to be loved and we’re convinced pleasing = being loved We move mountains to make others happy, lacking …