Author, Psychologist
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Understanding Dissatisfaction can help you harness it as a force for good in your life. This is the fifth installment in the Chronic Dissatisfaction series. Start at the first installment. Chronic Dissatisfaction (CD) is that restless feeling of yearning, wishing for something more but not even knowing what it is…CD can be an ever-present hum in …
Do you need to be dissatisfied in life to be driven to succeed? Is satisfaction a lame, insipid word to you that means giving up, and just settling for mediocre when we should be going for bigger, faster, better, stronger, harder? In fact, does satisfaction even exist, or do we always want for more? And, are these key reasons …
Blessed with riches and possibilities far beyond anything imagined by ancestors who tilled the unpredictable soil of medieval Europe, modern populations have nonetheless shown a remarkable capacity to feel that neither who they are nor what they have is quite enough. Alain de Botton. Continuing from my previous post, here’s the second installment in my series …
Do you think that anticipating some big change or shift is actually scarier than the change itself? I do. I think anticipation and fantasising about potential outcomes is far scarier than being in the moment of a big change, or settling into new circumstances once the change has come. Our imagination is a beautiful thing, …
Mindfulness is the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally, to things as they are. Jon Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness develops your emotional intelligence, which helps you to take charge of your life and deal directly with your thinking, emotions and actions. Mindfulness is not something you have to get …
Therapist Aaron Beck was the grandfather of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – a system of therapy which in a nutshell, teaches people to recognise the patterns of thinking that aren’t serving them well and to question unhelpful thoughts and feelings rather than just going with them willy-nilly and spiralling into down moods. Many therapists, like myself, combine ideas …
When you become a parent, especially for the first time, it can take a lot more strategic planning to make space for your couple relationship than it used to, but do it. Good sex is a key component in nurturing a passionate, connected couple relationship and although it may take some energy to make it …
Jealousy pangs occur for almost every couple at some time. However, if jealousy becomes part of an ongoing cycle of anger, suspicion, distress and insecurity in a couple, it needs dealing with on a deeper level before it erodes core trust in each other and dampens closeness and desire in the relationship. It’s important to …
Marriage Therapy research has found that pulling away or treating each other harshly when you’re under pressure are the greatest predictors of divorce. Here’s a peek at what I call the S.O.U.L strategy for handling challenges and disagreements with soul-to-soul respect and closeness, rather than reactivity. Years as a couple therapist has confirmed for me …