Author, Psychologist
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It’s a cringe-worthy but still common Hollywood movie formula: Girl meets boy, they clash at first sight but have to work together (arguing all the way). When they disagree they slap each other’s faces or trade smart-arse one liners before jumping into the sack for some sexy time, APPARENTLY turned on after that little spot of violence. Why do we even put up with …
We are designed to take care of one another. Simon Sinek I’m often asked what is my best relationship advice for any couple? When I started dating my husband, one of the things he asked me on a long beach walk was what I wanted most in life. It was that early stage of getting to know …
Therapist Aaron Beck was the grandfather of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – a system of therapy which in a nutshell, teaches people to recognise the patterns of thinking that aren’t serving them well and to question unhelpful thoughts and feelings rather than just going with them willy-nilly and spiralling into down moods. Many therapists, like myself, combine ideas …
Jealousy pangs occur for almost every couple at some time. However, if jealousy becomes part of an ongoing cycle of anger, suspicion, distress and insecurity in a couple, it needs dealing with on a deeper level before it erodes core trust in each other and dampens closeness and desire in the relationship. It’s important to …
A real friend is one of the great loves that make life worth living. I realised far too recently how important it is to be reflective about what a friend means to me. It doesn’t work to assume that people are automatically ‘friends’ just because you hang out with them. I wasn’t taught that as …
Surviving infidelity is a heartbreaking, brain-searing, crazy-making time for couples to navigate. I often meet couples for the first time in their scorched earth, post-affair period because they need my help as a therapist then like never before. Recovering from any betrayal of trust is slow and painstaking and the more intimate the betrayal, the more raw the pain, shame, rage …
Marriage Therapy research has found that pulling away or treating each other harshly when you’re under pressure are the greatest predictors of divorce. Here’s a peek at what I call the S.O.U.L strategy for handling challenges and disagreements with soul-to-soul respect and closeness, rather than reactivity. Years as a couple therapist has confirmed for me …
Is your relationship more difficult than enjoyable? Maybe you need some relationship help to figure out what to do to make it better, especially if you keep going round in circles together, rehashing the same issues. Sometimes we can’t make sense of our relationships, or even our own insides. We’re just too close to the …
Strangely, I still felt loved as I focused on surviving grief. My former partner stopped breathing, holding my hand; just as intimate as in life. For the previous two years we’d faced everything together. Still I could feel his presence long after he died and it frustrated me, gutted me and buoyed me in equal measure. I felt the love but I …
It doesn’t take more sex to feel sexier and to enjoy intimacy more. What it does take is regularly feeding your erotic imagination; prioritising your passions and creativity AND grabbing every opportunity to show care to your beloved. Here’s 5 ways to infuse more of your creativity and aliveness into the bedroom: 1. Our erotic imagination thrives …