Author, Psychologist
Browsing Year
Anna (not her real name) came to see me because she felt ‘stuck’ and she’d been intrigued by a talk I gave on creating soulful relationships. Anna was in her 60s and mother to a ‘forty-something’ daughter, Lily (again, not her real name). Lily was a successful small business owner, a wife and mother of …
Do you think that anticipating some big change or shift is actually scarier than the change itself? I do. I think anticipation and fantasising about potential outcomes is far scarier than being in the moment of a big change, or settling into new circumstances once the change has come. Our imagination is a beautiful thing, …
What would need to have happened if you woke up one morning and your life was all you dreamed – every duck in a row – you’re living your best life? To help people find direction and make changes in therapy, I sometimes ask this “possibility question”. It can help us to work out what …
Straight up? It’s a yes and a no. Yes – your relationship can survive, for better or for worse. In some cases, there’s eventually a positive that emerges long-term after infidelity – that an affair was one of the few things dramatic and life-changing enough to bring the couple back to a strong erotic connection. It’s …
“Avoid the temptation to squeeze your mind into submission (in meditation), to confine it and restrict it – that will just make it wilder! Use light concentration, gently correct it when it wanders, and patiently give it time and space”. Ian Gawler and Paul Bedson This guidance comes from two very experienced teachers of meditation and …
It’s one of the most dreaded destinations on the map but a lot of us end up there. Some marriages just aren’t meant to be but others careen out of control down the road to Divorce Land due to lack of awareness, poor relationship skills and fear of admitting there’s a problem until it’s too …
Mindfulness is the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally, to things as they are. Jon Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness develops your emotional intelligence, which helps you to take charge of your life and deal directly with your thinking, emotions and actions. Mindfulness is not something you have to get …
Being the hero of your life – to me that means getting absolutely real with yourself about your strengths, your vulnerabilities and your values and walking that self-talk. It’s an issue that influences life, sex and relationships – that we live in a culture that often celebrates the false and shuns real humanity. Are we becoming …
You’re ready and willing but your partner, who used to enjoy sex as much as you, seems to increasingly prefer Netflix. It’s frustrating and it leads you to feeling less than sexy. But take heart – when your partner doesn’t seem to be feeling it – there’s actually a lot you can do. And usually …
Guilty secret? It’s possible you won’t like me after this because it seems to be a surprisingly polarising topic. I love a gloomy day. In fact, when someone says it’s a lovely day because the sun is shining I get really uncomfortable. I don’t want to lie and agree with them but I know from …