Author, Psychologist
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Feeling you can reach your partner sexually, connect physically and be cared for and welcomed by your partner on an erotic level is important to individual wellbeing and to the health of a marriage. Unfortunately when resentments or distance build up in a partnership the sense of welcoming, physical openness and acceptance between partners can become damaged …
There’s a great deal of research suggesting that having sex everyday (or almost!) with your partner is great for body and mind. The widely reported benefits of daily sex in a good relationship include: Lower levels of stress, better sleep, greater relationship happiness, healthier pelvic floor muscles and regulation of periods for women, and an association with lower levels of prostate cancer …
We are designed to take care of one another. Simon Sinek I’m often asked what is my best relationship advice for any couple? When I started dating my husband, one of the things he asked me on a long beach walk was what I wanted most in life. It was that early stage of getting to know …
When you’re in the wrong relationship it usually doesn’t take long to begin to suspect the awful truth but it can be difficult to admit to it and find the strength to make tough decisions. There’s always that little voice of hope whispering that maybe you could make it OK, not great but OK, if you changed something like…moved to Mars, …
There’s nothing more desirable, universally attractive and yearned for than to love and be loved. Love is the fundamental core of our needs and desires, after all other dreams are quenched or drop away. Love is a very particular gift of heart-presence and focus – it’s not a thing but an action of body, mind and …
Therapist Aaron Beck was the grandfather of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – a system of therapy which in a nutshell, teaches people to recognise the patterns of thinking that aren’t serving them well and to question unhelpful thoughts and feelings rather than just going with them willy-nilly and spiralling into down moods. Many therapists, like myself, combine ideas …
When you become a parent, especially for the first time, it can take a lot more strategic planning to make space for your couple relationship than it used to, but do it. Good sex is a key component in nurturing a passionate, connected couple relationship and although it may take some energy to make it …
Jealousy pangs occur for almost every couple at some time. However, if jealousy becomes part of an ongoing cycle of anger, suspicion, distress and insecurity in a couple, it needs dealing with on a deeper level before it erodes core trust in each other and dampens closeness and desire in the relationship. It’s important to …
Keeping sex creative makes sense because eroticism thrives on novelty, many varied and new experiences. By creative – I don’t necessarily mean acrobatics in the bedroom – simply variations on sex aside from intercourse. Sex is creative – even when it’s not about creating new people – it’s almost a place we go to that exists as much inside our imagination as in …
Surviving infidelity is a heartbreaking, brain-searing, crazy-making time for couples to navigate. I often meet couples for the first time in their scorched earth, post-affair period because they need my help as a therapist then like never before. Recovering from any betrayal of trust is slow and painstaking and the more intimate the betrayal, the more raw the pain, shame, rage …