Your best life

Are You Living Your Best Life?

What would need to have happened if you woke up one morning and your life was all you dreamed – every duck in a row – you’re living your best life? To help people find direction and make changes in therapy, I sometimes ask this “possibility question”. It can help us to work out what …

Can Your Relationship Survive Infidelity?

Straight up? It’s a yes and a no. Yes – your relationship can survive, for better or for worse. In some cases, there’s eventually a positive that emerges long-term after infidelity – that an affair was one of the few things dramatic and life-changing enough to bring the couple back to a strong erotic connection. It’s …

monkey mind

Your Mind is Like a Distracted Monkey

“Avoid the temptation to squeeze your mind into submission (in meditation), to confine it and restrict it – that will just make it wilder! Use light concentration, gently correct it when it wanders, and patiently give it time and space”. Ian Gawler and Paul Bedson This guidance comes from two very experienced teachers of meditation and …

Are You Headed for Divorce? Turn the Car Around!

It’s one of the most dreaded destinations on the map but a lot of us end up there. Some marriages just aren’t meant to be but others careen out of control down the road to Divorce Land due to lack of awareness, poor relationship skills and fear of admitting there’s a problem until it’s too …

mindfulness

Mindfulness: Why It’s a Vital Life Skill

Mindfulness is the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally, to things as they are. Jon Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness develops your emotional intelligence, which helps you to take charge of your life and deal directly with your thinking, emotions and actions. Mindfulness is not something you have to get …

Be the hero of your own life

Are You Going to be the Hero of Your Own Life?

Being the hero of your life – to me that means getting absolutely real with yourself about your strengths, your vulnerabilities and your values and walking that self-talk. It’s an issue that influences life, sex and relationships – that we live in a culture that often celebrates the false and shuns real humanity. Are we becoming …

Partner doesn't want sex

Why Your Partner Doesn’t Want Sex (& What to Do!)

You’re ready and willing but your partner, who used to enjoy sex as much as you, seems to increasingly prefer Netflix. It’s frustrating and it leads you to feeling less than sexy. But take heart – when your partner doesn’t seem to be feeling it – there’s actually a lot you can do. And usually …

gloomy day

Gloomy Day Love

Guilty secret? It’s possible you won’t like me after this because it seems to be a surprisingly polarising topic. I love a gloomy day. In fact, when someone says it’s a lovely day because the sun is shining I get really uncomfortable. I don’t want to lie and agree with them but I know from …

family love

Family Takes You Back Every Time

Family just let’s you come back. Even in the imperfect, at times estranged extended family mine has shown itself to be over the years, love can somehow hold fast. It clearly remains a strong force in us, despite our imperfect channeling of it. I felt a little anxious on the way to dinner with extended family members …

Childhood attachment form our relationship models

Childhood Relationships are our Models

I’m creating a companion resource, a workbook to partner my upcoming book when it is released early next year. My book is about creating the life and relationships you desire. It’s all about love because essentially, everything important to us in life is motivated by love or lack of it. I set about creating it thinking I’d …