It was a big day when mindfulness hit me as an actual way I could live my life. I’d been studying yoga and meditation for some time and I had the THEORY totally down, but apparently it hadn’t really sunk into my heart and gut. Because there I was on an hot day, driving in outer suburbia, pretty uninspired when mindfulness became my super power. I was about 28 years old and there was nothing specifically wrong in that moment but I became aware I was involuntarily taking part in a self-made walk of shame – mindlessly berating myself in my head.
It was memories from childhood through to recent times – mistakes, humiliations, injustices and hurts – and the swirling clouds of bad feeling emanating from them felt like stinky but COMFY old clothes. I suddenly saw that when there was nothing else playing in my mind – they were the fillers that I had on an automatic loop.
My comfy self-loathing tape was worn so thin that – BAM – like the proverbial ‘Emperors Clothes’ when I recognised it – it became transparent. As the ol’ parade cranked up that day and the shame and disappointment started to rise, I felt a shock right to the base of my spine.
I understood that I could stop this.
I realised I could choose, with a bit of effort and a lot of awareness, which thoughts and feelings to give most attention and credence to in my own mind and heart. To experience the knowledge that I am the being who observes and responds to the workings of my mind, was like waking up to a new world order. Mindful awareness wasn’t an instant cure to my every difficulty but it formed the foundational understanding that I had more power over my mental and emotional wellbeing than I ever thought was possible.
Mindfulness became my way of life. I don’t meditate for long hours each day. I LIVE mindfully. No longer having to hear self-disliking thoughts as truth was the beginning of deeply improving my self-esteem. The best part is, you don’t have to talk yourself into prettier thoughts – you just become aware of what’s there and whether it’s helpful to your life and start making choices from that place of basic alignment. You get empowered when you realize
You get to choose what to do with your own attention.
Mindfulness is your own inherent Super Power for creating better relationships, self-esteem and mental health. Do you want to understand more about how to claim it? The School of Love is developing an Introduction to Mindfulness online program. Subscribe here to stay in the loop about this highly accessible program and receive weekly teaching and inspiration about healthy relationships and mindful living direct to your inbox.